Let’s Go Troll Some Bitcoin Companies

My company launched our app last week (yay). Before we even hit the App Store, the guys at Bitcoin Uncensored took to their podcast and promptly ripped us a new one.

The co-hosts are self-professed “Bitcoin trolls”, where they define trolling as an expression of skepticism. They proudly claim that anyone trolling Bitcoin is usually right.

Well, yeah. 99% of Bitcoin companies die. Just like 99% of all startups die. That’s why they’re funded by venture capitalists and not your Grandmother’s pension fund*.

Pointing at losers is the wrong game to play. You don’t run a venture fund by identifying everything that’s shit and investing in whatever remains.

What more, VCs are quite aware that 90% of their investments will be writeoffs; that’s why they desperately seek unicorns.

I like to make fun of VCs for funding dumb stuff, but it’s mostly because I’m jealous that they have the funds to invest in dumb stuff.

A quick look at the Andreessen-Horowitz portfolio:

Theranos is based on false science, Zenefits is committing felonies, Lyft is as good as dead, 21.co is a Keynesian coalmine, uBeam violates the laws of physics, Airbnb will never be profitable, Stripe had a shit IPO, oh wait that was Square, Instacart is the next Webvan, Slack is gonna get killed when IRC makes its comeback, Twitter is a feature not a company, and Box will bleed into oblivion.

Even if every single statement is correct, a16z walks away with a great return thanks to the last two. If only half my statements are correct, then a16z achieves phenomenal returns for its LPs.

So haha nice one Bitcoin trolls. We’ll be crying into our steak and lobster at tomorrow’s launch party, courtesy of American Express Ventures.

*Not exactly true.

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