Penguins are Awesome

Penguins have been my favorite animal since forever, primarily for their ability to do cute little human things that no other bird can. These things include necrophilia and pedophilia.

“Adélies gather at their colonies in October to start to breed. They have only a few weeks to do that and young adults simply have no experience of how to behave. Many respond to inappropriate cues. Hence the seeming depravity of their behaviour. For example, a dead penguin, lying with its eyes half-open, is very similar in appearance to a compliant female.”

‘Sexual depravity’ of penguins that Antarctic scientist dared not reveal — the guardian

This reminded me of something I had read about cane toads on way back when. I have a particular sympathy for cane toads, because the Australian Department of Agriculture encourages residents to actively kill cane toads. They are an invasive pest, brought to the continent to try to control another invasive pest. Unfortunately, they sucked at eating locusts but did a great job of poisoning native fauna. Through no fault of their own – they didn’t ask to be introduced – they became a persecuted martyr. Traveling through Queensland’s suburban areas, it is quite common to see a squashed cane toad on the road with a boot print over its back.

And then there’s the cane toad: Not only will they regularly have sex with dead bodies, but they’ll even make sweet love to corpses outside of their species. Not just different types of frog, mind you, but animals that in no way could ever be mistaken as a former cane toad: Snakes, lizards, small mammals — the cane toad is a firm believer in the “hole is a hole” attitude, and an even firmer believer in the “if there’s no hole, just make one with your boner” attitude. There has been at least one recorded attempt of a cane toad to mate with a long-deceased female that had been completely flattened by a car … for eight straight hours!

cane toad

In conclusion, here’s a cane toad raping a dead salamander.

6 Animals That Just Don’t Give A F#@k —

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