Be Water, My Friend.

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Kathy says if I get a smartphone I’ll stop being late for meetings. Owning a smartphone would give me the ability to monitor traffic in real time. I would see upcoming blockages and obstacles and bypass them to minimize delay.

I pulled up Waze on Kathy’s iPhone screen as I sat in her passenger seat and I felt like God.

Waze allows us to monitor our precise location on this planet. We monitor our heart rate, our caloric expenditure, the weather, the markets, the friends we have on Facebook. To monitor is to manage. We monitor to feel like we’re in control.

long-winding-road

Imagine if we could view the real-time roadmap of our lives in the same way. If we could see the location of setbacks and hurdles and roadblocks. We would navigate around them, of course, because no one ever intentionally steers headfirst into adversity. Gifted with clairvoyance, we would all put ourselves on the FasTrak to wealth and power.

Receiving real-time traffic conditions on a phone makes sense, because people want to spend as little time as possible in their cars. People who dislike driving feel like they need to be somewhere. People who dislike their lives see only the roadblocks. Why are we in such a hurry to get to the nowhere that we need to be?

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Zen rock gardens are built to represent flowing water; to me they look like paved roads, or maybe the roads look like water. The obstacles are at once both in the way and exactly where they need to be. There are no detours if there is no destination. It begins with relinquishing control.

Be water, my friend [1].

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1. bruce-lee-artist-of-life

How I Turned My Nokia 3120 Into a Smartphone

Nokia 3120 with Google
Nokia 3120 with Google

I hate smartphones. I hate that the people who assemble them can’t afford them. I hate that kids in China sell their kidneys for them. I hate consumerism and the instant gratification mentality that they promote.

Most of all I hate change. I’m comfortable in my stupidphone world. Trying to get me to upgrade my phone is like telling a fat person to lose weight. From a rational perspective, I know that it’ll improve my life. But my emotional side says I don’t feel like it.

Most recently, a member of Barnacle’s advisory board threatened to resign if I didn’t get a smartphone. So I turned my Nokia 3120 into a smartphone.

First I had to upgrade my phone plan. I went from paying $10 a month for 600 minutes of voice and no text messages, to $50 a month for 500 GB of data and unlimited voice and text.

Nokia Connectivity cable

Then I used a Nokia Connectivity Cable and Nokia PC Suite to install a WAP browser. Through this browser I could access Mapquest’s text-based site and look up directions (Google Maps disabled its text-based site last year).

It works surprisingly well for a decade-old device. I’m not sure why it takes 4 minutes to load a text-only web page, but that’s less embarrassing than calling up Jim and telling him that I got lost again.

Nokia uses Series 40 as the operating system for its dumbphones, which supports mobile Java applications. Mobileheart has archived compatible applications for email and messaging. I didn’t actually install them because by this point I had spent all day getting this crap to work and was ready to commit suicide.

Can your smartphone do this?
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Helpful link for setting up a Nokia 3120: T-Mobile’s Internet and Data settings

Mantras for Increasing Willpower

marathon signs

Endurance is more about willpower than physical fitness. Running a marathon is 20% physical and 80% mental. Some say it’s 90% mental. The exercise and training leading up to the race really just serve to supply confidence.

It’s tough to keep going in demoralizing situations, like the 22nd mile of a marathon. Endurance athletes have a secret tool in their arsenal for when the going gets tough. It’s called a mantra.

Mantras keep the mind focused. If you’re constantly repeating your priorities to yourself, little stray voices can’t interrupt with complaints and distractions.

My favorite running mantra comes from Haruki Murakami: Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

I’m not really in pain these days, but there are other sources of misery. I still use a mantra when the world feels unpleasant:

30 years from now, I would give anything to be back in this moment.

Because life is an ultramarathon, not a sprint.

25 miles to go!
25 miles to go!

Other mantras that I like:
I don’t stop when I’m tired, I stop when I’m done.
The Faster You Run, The Faster You’re Done
Quitting is forever.
Who do you want to be?
If you don’t do it now, you’ll be older when you do

If there are other good ones, please share 🙂

See Also:
Best Race Signs

75% of Employed Workers Spend 40 Hours a Week on Bullshit

The ruling class has figured out that a happy and productive population with free time on their hands is a mortal danger… And, on the other hand, the feeling that work is a moral value in itself, and that anyone not willing to submit themselves to some kind of intense work discipline for most of their waking hours deserves nothing, is extraordinarily convenient for them.

See also:
On the Phenomenon of Bullshit Jobs

A Reason to Live Forever

Lessons on life and adventure from an aerobatic pilot, a motocross champion, and an octogenarian author

What happens when your best days are behind you? This has been a very real fear ever since I hit 30. My memory isn’t what it once was. My vision is deteriorating. And I’m pretty sure I’m shrinking.

I first met Marc when he was the recipient of a Barnacle delivery. I dropped off his outboard motor and spotted a framed picture of a Meyers Out-to-Win on his garage wall.

02 - COVER  Big pic OTW over Cullaby - last - Copy

Nice, I said.

That used to be my plane.

Wow. Do you still fly?

Nah, he said. I just turned 80. I lost my high-pitch hearing many years ago. Before that, I owned ten different planes.

What was your favorite?

He shrugged a little. Maybe the Learjet. He showed as much conviction as if I had asked about his preferred dental floss.

What about the Meyers OTW? I asked. That must have been awesome!!

It got boring after a while, he replied.

What??

It got boring. They all got boring.

Who on earth gets bored of a Meyers OTW? I asked him if he missed flying.

Nah. I used to race motocross too. No matter how exciting something is, it eventually gets boring.

Oh, man. If this guy got bored flying aerobatic planes and racing motocross, then retirement must be insufferable. After a lifetime of barrel rolls and hammerheads and whoops and doubles, captivity in an 80-year-old body would be agony. I felt so bad for him.

I told him that I, too, was a pilot, and he gave me a 1971 Cessna sales brochure to take home. He used to work as a Cessna sales rep. He told me some of his flying tales and said that he had written other stories, lots of them, but regretted that no one would ever read them.

I asked him if he knew how to self-publish on Amazon. He did not.

Well, we would have to change that.

He sat down at his computer and I guided him through Amazon CreateSpace. We began with a simple project, a book of recipes that he had compiled. Then I introduced him to WordPress and he set up his own web site (I helped a little tiny bit).

Medjool date cover

His stories needed some editing before they could be published, so I took a copy to rework later. I promised I would get his book published on Amazon.

That night, camped out in my car, I pulled up Marc’s text document and began reading. In his stories, he hopped freight trains like a hobo. He won AMA motocross races. He crashed six airplanes and countless land vehicles. I couldn’t believe that he lived to see 30, let alone 80.

Then the night sky began to show light, and I scrolled back to the top of the document. A quote prepended the stories: Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

I didn’t feel bad for Marc anymore. He didn’t stop flying because it became boring. He stopped because he had exhausted all possible combinations of bad judgment.

What’s the point of doing anything without the possibility of poor judgment? Marc hadn’t spent his youth in search of an adrenaline rush; he spent his youth in search of experience. An experience gets boring in the same way that repeating the 3rd grade gets boring. People embark on adventures to learn, and the satisfaction comes from acquiring knowledge and character, not cheap thrills.

Adventure is not about hiring a team of sherpas to guide you to the top of a mountain, nor is it about skydiving in a climate-controlled spacesuit. Adventure is allowing yourself the freedom to exercise exceptionally poor judgment, and having the wherewithal to turn those judgments into experience.

At 80 years young, Marc has embarked on a quest to market his writing through channels dominated by children. This, to him, is another adventure.

Marc wants to live forever through the distribution of his work. Marc wants to live forever because he knows his best days are not behind him. His best days are always right now.