Happy Juneteenth!

Happy Juneteenth everyone! Here is how NOT to celebrate:

Allow me to translate:

Juneteenth is a dumb contrived holiday that does nothing to end racism. It’s a pointless ritual on par with canceling Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Butterworth. The day has zero relevance to me or my family, aside from the fact that we really like fried chicken and watermelon.

Professor Hanson’s crime isn’t that he’s racist; it’s that he pointed out the hollowness of celebrating Juneteenth. Blasphemy! That’s almost as big a crime as noticing that George Floyd and Rayshard were not exactly model citizens.

On Juneteenth, every major corporation will engage in collective self-flagellation, host an office wide Eight-Minutes-46-Seconds Hate against toxic whiteness, and pay homage to Black Lives Matter™. Be sure to purge the noncompliant from positions of power before upcoming elections.

Large numbers of strangers can only cooperate by believing in common myths. You know, like religion. This ensures that everyone knows their place and follows the rules. Blessed are the meek. You don’t have to deep down believe every story, but at least pretend and signal that you’re willing to play along. Heathens must be rooted out, because anyone who doesn’t fear the same God can’t be trusted to cooperate and play by the rules.

An actual productive way of celebrating Juneteenth might be to refuse to pay taxes until the government ends its War on Drugs. But that would defeat the purpose of the exercise, which is not to empower but to subjugate. Diverse thinkers be damned.

On a side note, this would be a good time for China to scoop up some smart, but insufficiently woke, academics. It’s not like Professor Hanson will find gainful employment in the US after an outburst like that. On second thought, maybe faux-libertarian economists are just as useless in China as they are here.

3 thoughts on “Happy Juneteenth!

  1. Thank you for the post!

    “You don’t have to deep down believe every story, but at least pretend and signal that you’re willing to play along.”

    Can you put a percentage on that? Have always thought this, curious to see how wide spread you imagine this cohort is.


  2. Meanwhile, I woke up this morning to find out the usual idiots had pulled down some statues in San Francisco, including Junipo Serra and Ulysses S. Grant, the guy who made the emancipation celebrated by Juneteenth possible.

    I expect the people who did that won’t get cancelled.

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