When media outlets get called out for misjudging a character, they tend to overcompensate with over-the-top villainization. Just look at the narrative reversals of Weinstein, Epstein, Sheryl Sandberg, Adam Neumann, Corona-chan, and yes, Elizabeth Holmes.
Nope nope nope, we never claimed the coronavirus was no deadlier than the flu, and you certainly won’t find our deleted Tweets stating such!
Maybe some of these people really are cartoon villains, but I’m sympathetic to Theranos. Right idea, wrong execution.
Build: Medical Devices
Here’s people in China taking a round of COVID serology tests before a group dinner, like some sort of aperitif.
Why can’t we have this in the United States? COVID-19 antibody tests currently have a low sensitivity rate, meaning they deliver a lot of false negatives. An inaccurate test result might lead to a false sense of security. The obvious solution is to test more, and more frequently, but public health officials think Americans are stupid. To keep us safe, government health agencies prevent anyone from getting tested at all. And that is why it took 25 years for the FDA to approve an over-the-counter HIV test.
It’s possible to fool the classifiers. Just modify the intended use. For example, absorbable sutures are considered a Class III medical device, on par with pacemakers and defibrillators. To get around clearance requirements, manufacturers call their product a “practice suture”, for training and taxidermy. Now they can sell the sutures for less than twenty bucks on Amazon. The sutures are packaged in sterile alcohol, because animal carcasses care about germs. Wink wink nudge nudge.
Another example is 23andMe, a DNA test that maps your personal genome. The original inception provided information about a person’s risk for diseases like Parkinson’s or cancer, but the FDA shut them down for a few years because any kit that diagnoses disease must first gain clearance as a medical device.
To get around FDA restrictions, 23andMe pivoted from health diagnostics to measuring intersectionality. You could be 1/1024th Cherokee and not even know it — Buy our DNA test kit and claim your minority status now! Hence the series of identity politics commercials featuring customers who discover their genetic victimhood.
So here’s how we get home COVID-19 serology tests out the door: Claim they’re for measuring disparate impact, or some similarly woke purpose. If the FDA complains, tell them to take it up with the SPLC.
(To be continued…)