Eat the Cats

The best way to get rid of an undesirable is to convince people it’s delicious. That’s what we did for corn syrup, passenger pigeons, and little Irish children.

Australia is awesome. Feral cats are killing native marsupials like koalas and wallabies, so locals eliminate the invasive species by eating them.

This is exactly what I think of when I read about places like Key West and Kauai struggling with feral chickens. They’re chickens! They belong in a stew pot, not an animal shelter.

They’re safe here. Chickens know that Whole Foods shoppers won’t touch any meat that hasn’t been processed into unrecognizable slabs

Hong Kong has feral cows? I can think of twelve different ways to solve this problem, all of them delicious.

Sadly, Australian ecologists are sometimes criticized for killing feral cats:

“I can’t help but use terms like ‘xenophobia’… It’s gobsmacking how much hatred there is.” Adherents to compassionate conservation say that Australia should embrace cats as an element of its environment, rather than trying to restore ecosystems to an arbitrary point in history whose selection is dependent on the whims of those doing the choosing.

Reminds me of those old-school environmentalists who would use conservation as an excuse to justify immigration restrictions. Who are we to try to restore ecosystems to an arbitrary point in history? Climate change is progress, you racists.

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