Elaine, don’t you want to settle down soon?

Every. single. fricken. year.

The hard thing about settling down is the “settling” part. Settling! A settlement is a concession, an admission that you’re not gonna get what you want and it’s time to cut your losses. No, you’re not going to become the cowboy-astronaut-millionaire you dreamed up as a 10-year-old. You’re not gonna marry one either.

So you settle for being not consistently miserable because you’re not sure what you want anymore anyway.

There’s a good part. It turns out no one is actually paying attention. No one cares about your broken dreams or that you once planned to be Master of the Universe. You pretend you just always wanted to be a claims adjuster or an app developer. Life gets easier once you accept a settlement.