Islands for Sale

Private Cay in Central Andros, Bahamas. Only $999,000 USD

Apparently rich people are having trouble maintaining their private islands (so sad!), and many are letting them go at firesale prices. There has never been a better time to buy your own private rock in the middle of the ocean. Of course, there runs the risk that your investment may soon become submerged as a result of climate change (which still has not been proven to be caused by human impact).

Some of these really are cheap. Like Tahifehifa Island, only EUR 175,000. Being priced in euro, that’ll probably be about 50 cents USD in a few months’ time. The island is in Tonga (is that a country?), which is somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. I have no idea how you’d get to it. Maybe you can buy a yacht with all the money you save.

There are also cheap islands for sale in the US, such as Naomi Island on the Hudson River, only $125,000. It’s only a 90-mile commute to Manhattan floating down the river in an inner tube.

I’m calling dibs on this one in Belize:

Scipio Cay in Belize

Apparently it’s inhabited by local fishermen. I plan to colonize them and establish the imperial city-state of Elaineopia. Manifest destiny!

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