I ordered a potted orchid from ProFlowers for my mother on Mother’s Day. Nothing says “I am a good daughter” like a generic, commercially-delivered gift.

The potted orchid died after about a week. My mother called me to complain.

“Plants have a very short life cycle,” I explained. “They just don’t live very long. They’re kind of like my pet goldfish.”

My mother didn’t really like my answer, but she let it go. A few weeks later, she called me again.

“I called the flower store and they sent me a new orchid to replace the dead one,” she said. “The boy who answered their customer service number was very nice. He has a Master’s degree in Economics from UC San Diego.”

“That’s great news,” I said. “Why would the customer service guy tell you about his degree from UCSD?”

“He asked for my email address. I don’t have one, so I gave him your brother’s email address. [Ed. Note: My brother goes to UCSD.] Then he told me he went to UC San Diego too.”

“Well, that is very nice. Happy Mother’s Day.” I moved to hang up the phone.

“Hey…” she said.

I waited.

“Why is a nice boy who graduated with a degree in Economics from UC San Diego working at the call center for a flower store?”