To Kill a Virus

I have one of these canisters sitting on my desk at work:

Kills viruses.

The workplace provides them. I use them to wipe down my keyboard and mouse whenever someone else touches any of my items, because my coworkers are disgusting.

But I get angry whenever I look at that canister. Well I’m always angry at work, but apart from that, it makes me extra angry to see the blatant falsism that is the claim of being able to kill cold and flu viruses.

First of all, you can’t kill a virus because a virus is not a living organism. A virus is incapable of reproduction outside of a host cell, one of the definitive criteria for life. Oh, is Lysol in fact claiming that it can specifically kill virus-infected host cells, which are indeed living things? Congratulations Lysol, you just found a cure for HIV and possibly cancer.

Secondly, it’s not that easy to eliminate a virus. Anti-viral drugs barely work against influenza, so why the hell would Lysol be effective?

As I mentally drafted up the grounds for my class-action lawsuit, I decided to obtain a deposition from a world-renowned virologist to shore up my case. It went something like this.

Q. Professor Ou, can Lysol, which consists of alcohol and bleach, really kill viruses?

A. Sure, alcohol can denature virus proteins.

Q. Wait, wait, so next time I have the flu, I should just drink lots of alcohol, and I’ll get better?

A. Well, the alcohol needs to be in contact with the virus for long enough to denature the proteins. But you should drink 70% alcohol. Anything less will not be strong enough to destroy the virus.

Q. Why don’t I just drink pure alcohol then?

A. Can’t you go look it up on the internet? I’m busy.

Q. I’m telling mom!

A. Okay, okay… alcohol is not a good organic solvent, but water is. You need the 30% water for alcohol to reach the virus. However, you may damage some of your own cells in the process.

Cool! I learned something.

Molecule: A cocktail bar for morons

Oh look, a new, uh, restaurant (?) just opened in Manhattan. It serves water. For $2.50 plus tax for 16 ounces. The Wall Street Journal describes it as “a cocktail bar for water enthusiasts.”

[Owner] Mr. Ruhf says his water is unusually “fluffy” with a “smooth” finish. (A reporter found it lighter and more velvety than city tap water.)

“fluffy”? “smooth”? “lighter and more velvety”??? It’s fricken water. I hope the investors enjoy their fluffy financial bath.

What are They Drinking in New York City? –wsj.com

How To Do What You Love

Every time I see a news headline bemoaning the 20% underemployment rate and how we’re in the midst of the worst recession in our lifetimes, I cringe a little and wonder if I should hunker down in my cushy shelter of employment for just a tad bit longer. I should really give it at least 6 months, I tell myself. I could learn to like it.

My inner id said No. Not just No but HELL NO. YOU ONLY GET EACH DAY ONCE. How much is it worth to live a day in the prime of my life to its fullest? When I’m 70, what would I give to spend a day as a 30-year-old again? A hell of a lot more than this salary I don’t need.

Life is too short to waste time on tedious work. This is an older essay by Paul Graham. I try to remind myself to read it whenever I’m feeling shiftless. It makes me feel a little bit better about not having everything figured out just yet.

One of my favorite passages:

A friend of mine who is a quite successful doctor complains constantly about her job. When people applying to medical school ask her for advice, she wants to shake them and yell “Don’t do it!” (But she never does.) How did she get into this fix? In high school she already wanted to be a doctor. And she is so ambitious and determined that she overcame every obstacle along the way—including, unfortunately, not liking it.

Now she has a life chosen for her by a high-school kid.

How to Do What You Love — Paul Graham

Hello Boson

[vimeo http://www.vimeo.com/41038445 w=400&h=300]

How does Nature decide whether or not to assign mass to particles?

CERN experiments observe particle consistent with long-sought Higgs boson — CERN

Kleptocracy in China

I’m not so offended when I’m in Central America or Southeast Asia and a shopkeeper or taxi driver shortchanges me. I point out their mistake, they laugh uncomfortably and apologize, and I give them the benefit of the doubt. These people aren’t very educated; maybe they’re just bad at math. No big deal.

In China, however, the attitude of the salesperson is a bit different. (I will now proceed to make sweeping generalizations based on my own limited experiences.) Vendors become visibly angry when I politely ask for the correct change, as though I were taking food from their children’s mouths. And Chinese people are good at math, so I know they’re trying to screw me on purpose. I concluded that China just has a culture of unrestricted thievery.

It starts at the top.

The inside of a state-owned pharmaceuticals plant. Corridors have gold foil inlays.

This article explains the mechanisms of how it all works and how the lower class enables it. I was even more impressed that something coherent actually came out of Sydney. And I used to live in Bronte.

The Macroeconomics of Chinese kleptocracy — Bronte Capital