Many years ago, I made fun of Silicon Valley urbanites for proposing that California secede the union after Trump’s election. I now realize that I was wrong. Apologies to Sam Altman et al.

The #CalExit campaign has since morphed from an independence movement to a bid to amputate the gangrenous state for the sake of everyone else. (Is it too late to give California back to Mexico?) Even if a complete dissolution is impossible, it’s inevitable that large portions of the country will fracture into autonomous zones. The only question is how we get there.

As Cliven Bundy, David Koresh, and the Confederacy demonstrated, you can’t seize autonomy by force. The US government has no qualms about slaughtering those who try. A more successful example is that of Union Point, where homeless junkies became such a public nuisance that the city of Oakland set aside two vacant lots for them to create a self-governing community.

For years, Oakland tried to discourage homeless encampments with fines, bulldozers, and threats of violence. Every time an encampment was cleared out, the residents would resettle the next block over. City council realized that the homeless were not going to disappear, they were in no shape to rejoin society, and they were too disgusting to stay where they were. The only solution was to mitigate their impact on everyone else.

Oakland residents were happy to get junkies out of public parks, and the homeless were happy to have a place where they could indulge in recreation without fear of harassment.

If you want to have your own autonomous zone, you need to get a bunch of like-minded people together and become so noxious they can’t ignore you.

…Which brings me to anti-vaxxers. Ewwww. If I had to choose between having an unvaxxed kid in my neighborhood, or a group of drug-addled derelicts shitting on the sidewalk, I believe I would rather have the derelicts. I would compare the unvaxxed to leprosy patients, but frankly that’s an insult to lepers.

We’ve tried asking nicely, but the only thing more unreasonable than a strung out meth addict is an anti-vaxxer. Therefore, we have no choice but to segregate the unvaxxed. For the sake of public health.

There should be separate-but-equal facilities to prevent the unvaxxed from spreading disease and pestilence. Starting with designated “unvaxxed” seating areas in restaurants and airports, then separate bathrooms for the unvaxxed, and segregated schools taught by unvaccinated teachers. With short buses to bus in the unvaxxed.

The biggest benefit of separate schools is that the fully vaccinated children will no longer be held back by the intellectual deficiencies of their unvaccinated peers. If the latter children are anything like their parents, it’s inconceivable that they’ll be able to keep up with post-Enlightenment topics like Critical Race Theory.

Eventually, we’ll have entire autonomous zones. Perhaps a city like Miami can declare itself a leper colony, but for the unvaxxed. The surrounding country will build a wall, a cordon sanitaire, to #StoptheSpread. Anti-vaxxers don’t need to all cram into Miami; we’ll have leper colonies all over the country where they cluster. Jefferson County, most of Wyoming, Texas-minus-Austin, and so on. Everyone else will stay far away, as the unvaxxed colonies are obviously really gross.

The best way to get a bitcoin citadel is to convince them to build it for us.