This has been floating around for a while, but here’s the French military training golden eagles to take down drones:

Badass. Although the strategy seems a bit unscalable. I mean, who brings a BIRD to a drone fight?? Terrorists can easily make a bigger drone, but a divine creator can’t exactly hand the French Army a larger eagle. Plus, it took a team of 100 people just to train four eagles! Wouldn’t it have been faster to hand those hundred people some sniper rifles?

I’m not surprised to see such silliness from France. Ever since Napoleon’s defeat at Waterloo, that country has demonstrated the military competence of a bag of beans. But here we have the Dutch Police doing the same thing!

So while continental Europe is reenacting La Cage aux Folles on the battlefield, the US Army shows the world how a real military gets things done. Here’s the Patriot Missile Defense System, which we recently used to shoot down an enemy drone:

Patriot missile! That’s right, we shot a $3.4 million radar-guided ballistic missile into a $200 commercial drone that you can buy on Amazon. That’s economic stimulus in action! Take that, ISIS drone! America, F— Yeah!

Is Europe convinced that it needs to pay us for military defense yet? Either way, let’s hurry up and get those $400 billion F-35 fighters out the door. These victory banners aren’t going to tow themselves, you know.